Martha Stewart doesn't live here!!
* I'm creative; you can't expect me to be neat, too!
* Ring Bell for Maid Service. If no answer, do it yourself!
* You may touch the dust in this house, but please don't write in it!
* If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
* I would cook dinner, but I can't find the can opener!
* I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
* If you don't like my standards of cooking, lower your standards.
* A messy kitchen is a happy kitchen, and this kitchen is delirious.
* Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
* Countless numbers of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
* My house was clean last week; too bad you missed it!
Sign on company bulleting board: This firm requires no physical-fitness program. Everyone gets enough exercise jumping to conclusions, flying of the handle, running down the boss, flogging dead horses, knifing friend in the back, dodging responsibility, and pushing their luck.
A sign posted in a Dentist's office said:
"Please be nice to our dentists. They have fillings too."
I saw a sign that said "Speed Bumps".
I thought, my how times change! Speed used to kill.
was driving along the Stuart Highway when I saw a sign saying "Rest Area 50 Kilometers" and thought WOW that's big
Sign seen in a veterinarian's office:
The doctor is in. Sit. Stay
On the outside flap of the sign, it reads: The kitchen is close today on account of illness.
Inside flap: I'm sick of cooking!
